By the banks of the silvery Tay

William Topaz McGonagall, of Dundee has been widely hailed as the writer of the worst poetry in the English language. This sonnet may challenge this claim!

By the banks of the Silvery Tay
We had such a wonderful day
For North Berwick a first trip to Dundee
Made welcome with coffee and tea
Bacon rolls to sustain through the day
By the banks of the silvery Tay

The wind from the west
Was not for the best
But didn’t spoil the day
As guests of our friends in Broughty
By the banks of the silvery Tay

The open men were first to row
They struck the very first blow
A narrow win over hosts Broughty
Got North Berwick on our way
By the banks of the silvery Tay

Ladies were next in the boat
Over 60s I heard someone quote
Another good win for the NB
As the wind blew out to the see
By the banks of the silvery Tay

The 45 plus men followed on
Fuelled with rolls filled with Dundee bacon
Rowed the fastest time of the day
Was North Berwick running away?
By the banks of the slivery Tay

The mixed crew look a little pale
As they finished second to a good crew from Crail
The crafty coxing brought joy
As they squeezed around the buoy
By the banks of the silvery Tay

Crail continued their winning form
Pushing hard in the heart of the storm
Another win from the Fifers
In the class of 45 wifers
By the banks of the silvery Tay

Wormit were the next to have cheer
And likely celebrated with beer
A first win for the neighbouring crew
And a second for Newburgh too
By the banks of the silvery Tay

The final race of the day
A win for our hosts from Broughty
NB ran them close around the bend
Broughty finished strong in the end
By the banks of the silvery Tay

With many thanks to our hosts Broughty Ferry
We returned home all feeling merry
The weather could not thwart
A great day of sport
By the banks of the silvery Tay

With apologies to W.T. McGonagall (Ed: But thanks to Steve Thomson)

 

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